Just Hope

Why learn walking,
'cos you know you can run
Is it knowledge or fantasy?
Sure tis' not jumping the Gun ?

Days go by
with nothing done,
and the thought burns you
your heart weighs a ton

When was the last time
your engine was in full throttle?
These are the days,
when all it does is just rattle

Yet you learn
to Cling to the rope,
to grit your teeth and smile
for all is not lost, I hope !

Of inherent inadequacies

Failures share space with success. Our lives today, center on the fact that some aspect of our self claims total responsibility of failure or success as its own. This triggers most people to aim higher and reach greater heights. Failures are treated as lessons to help success. While positive perspective on failure is generally encouraged, is this common? What is the alternative? Inspiring stories relate how someone gained from failures only to achieve greater heights. However, the uninspired have different stories to relate.

This aspect of self which realizes pleasure from its success also kills itself with each failure. This aspect of self considers it is totally responsible for failure also. This inadequacy gets inherently evident. The natural shadow of this inadequacy creates an image of total adequacy. Our self wants this totally adequate persona to be perceived by the World. At the same time, it is so much easier to project our inadequacies on someone else. Personifying our inadequacy seems to be an easy way out.

Anger, hate and violence ensue. The thought of killing our inherent inadequacy raises these emotions in us. The intensity of our desire to kill this self is the intensity of our hate and anger. To deal with anger, we need to look for this root. We need to figure out what it is in us that we hate so much. However, very few people even try this route. Looking for solutions by hurting others is ineffective. Acknowledging inherent inadequacies is the first step. There is enough knowledge in us to deal with this. How will we ever deal with something, if we don’t even acknowledge its presence…

Cause ?

Any period of focused logical thinking effort begs an equally long period of totally thoughtless expression. The balance between these two, is essential for the effectiveness of both.

Although, to think thoughtlessness needs efficiency is not appreciated now. This blank state, does have the underlying unconscious working away.

To me thoughtless yapping is as good a meditation as any. Benefits are not in the realm of “known”. However, when this expression is in the form of speech, it may be mistaken for insanity. If that matters, there is a need for other forms.

The additional benefit is the efficiency of the clarity of the logical thought process. Honoring these alternating states could mean extraordinary connection capabilities. Those that can connect seemingly random dots to form a beautiful picture.

The question, however is, is this just correlation or causation itself?

Notes from Sublime - Perspectives gained

The book - "Story of B", stuck some chords in me. 

I wanted to share my notes / quotes from the book. 

Any culture will become an obscenity when blown up into a universal world culture to which all must belong. Confined to the few hundred square miles in which it was born our own culture would have been quaint and bizarre. Blown up into a universal world culture to which all must belong, it is a horrifying obscenity.

Gun powder is a mixture of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulfur. If one of the ingredients is missing , then the mixture is not explosive. Our culture consists of three essential ingredients and if any one of them had been missing, no explosion would have taken place in this planet.

Totalitarian Agriculture

Belief that ours is the right way

Great forgetting.

Man was not born a totalitarian agriculturalist and city builder. What was forgotten was the fact that our way is not ordained from the beginning of time. The great forgetting was the key ingredient in our cultural explosion.

Combine one never before seen cultural element with a second never before seen element and a third one just as odd, and you come up with a cultural monster that is literally devouring the world – and will end by devouring itself if it isn’t stopped.

Why did they become Agriculturalists? 

What did totalitarian agriculture give them that foraging didn’t give their neighbors and ancestors? 

Totalitarian agriculture gave them power. The revolution wasn’t about food, it was about power. 

That’s still what it is about.

Golden Deer

Who is this ideal person we are seeking ? When some goals are met, newer goals are given to reach . We take one arduous journey after another only to find that there is more to be taken at the end of it all. We rush by, ignoring everything else but the goal . When we reach it , we get one more goal to work for.

Isn’t that “Maya”. Are we not seeking something that is not real ?

All our data is collected and analyzed based on an average of the samples. When a group is identified by the average attributes, is it not possible that there is really no sample with the same set of attributes as the average. Does it mean that the sample is wrong. No! The sample does not care. It is for the ease of people studying the group of samples that these attributes were designed. Does it make any sense then, for the sample to work towards the Average – The IDEAL ? The ideals / average ( are the words important ?) defined by some group at some point in time , for some purpose has for some reason become the ideal. I am not saying that some group / some point in time / some purpose are unimportant / coincidental.

Let it Go

More Comfort, less Challenges
Days spent in Gray
Just wood nailed to hinges
No Surprise, treated that Way

Time is the treasure
Passed, whiled, wasted
In a good,great measure,
As the sword Rusted

Yet need the courage,
To just let it go
Worry is the Mortgage
Or the fear of a row...

Nostalgia

I recently received a mail from my friend, in which she had wished me for my birthday and reminded me of our birthday celebration during our final year in college. She had also mentioned how happy those days were and how terribly she missed it in her current stature as a mother of a two year old. That mail took me back in time as I remembered the day.

Usually the School/College would be closed on the day of my birthday and I would spend it with my family. I was always envious of those who got to celebrate their birthday during the school days. However during my final year in college, It fell on a working day on the last week of our college days. The spirit of friendship was quite high in our group, as we had only a few more days of togetherness.

I was hyping my own birthday among my friends. Giving it an extra push every now and then with questions like ‘Hey, have you decided on what you should gift me?’ I made sure that it was an eventful day ! anyways, they also got the message.

I had bought myself a dress for a princely sum of Rs.838 thus adding to my wardrobe, the costliest of the lot .The day came. I donned the great dress and felt so pretty. I went to the bus stop smiling and glowing. As soon as I entered the class, I saw my friend hide something from me. I asked her, ‘Hey is that my present ? good ! keep that a surprise’ She called me hopeless and handed it over to me. It was a handbag and I liked it.

Then I went around asking people if they were going to come to my house as a surprise! Lots of them did. We had a rocking time. We sang, we danced, we made our neighbors wonder what was wrong and we made merry. I cut 4 cakes in different places, with different groups of friends.

In my house, my sister and my cousin had baked a cake for me.
They were also the ones who poured water over my head when my face was all covered with cream. One of my friends (the one mentioned in the first paragraph) stayed back at home. We went to a movie with my sister and my cousin and then to a restaurant.
That was my greatest birthday !

The dress now sleeps in my wardrobe, just a memory, for I no longer wear it.
Guess I have left that spirit behind and call it growth !